I was standing in the grocery checkout the other day and spotted The Macleans Magazine with a cover story called Outraged Moms & Trashy Daughters. Upon seeing this, I knew in an instant what my next blog post was about.
The long and the short of the article is that:
There seems to be a growing gap between today’s teens and their mothers. Today’s mothers are of a generation that has come closest to achieving equality with men. They have worked hard to be seen as something other than sex objects. Their social and professional power comes from what they can offer in the boardroom not the bedroom. They are independent, strong willed people who have chosen their own destiny, free of sexual objectification.
On the other hand these women are raising girls who are embracing the notion that sex is the ultimate power. That intellect and ability are passé all any girl needs to do to be successful is to look HOT! (I embellished a bit).
Now, as a father of two girls who are “Pre Trashy Teen”, this article was of special interest. I was hoping for a sort of “How Not To Raise A Trashy Teen” article but unfortunately it wasn’t. It did however get me thinking about how to avoid raising the next Paris Hilton in a world where Trash is “très chic”.
My first thought was to take the easy route and vilify the likes of Paris Hilton or the corporate media but then I remembered that when you point a finger someone or something else, there are three fingers pointed right back at you. So then I thought, what could be the reason that kids who come from families with strong, successful women are turning out so trashy?
In my following posts I will take the position that the hyper sexualization of our youth is not just a “Girl Issue” but instead it crosses both genders and that the pressure to “Look Hot” is as significant for boys as it is for girls or as a I recently overheard a young girl say, “He has to look doable before I will date him” . Finally, I will take a look at some possible reasons why kids are turning to trash rather than taking it out. I will focus on 4 possible elements related to parenting which contribute to trashy teens.
- Age appropriate access
- Parental modeling
- Avenues to self worth
- Parental Expectations
I will also provide some excellent resources on Teens, Body Image and the Media which you may find helpful.
maybe your teen is a trashy whore because you call her that, ever think of that?
i don’t see anything wrong with helping a teen fix their self image if you think what they wear isn’t appropriate just say that and maybe they will look more mature and date someone older, obviously your not a good one with parenting nor relationships.
Thanks for the comment Alison, I appreciate it but I kinda get the feeling that you didn’t past the title. I suppose that is my fault for using inflammatory language to attract attention but unfortunately it seemed to work to well.
come back sometime and read the rest of the posts in this series.
This is a really great article. I have a four year old daughter, and I am not looking forward to when this becomes an issue in my life. Only God knows what the trends will be by then. The way some young women dress now, by the time my girl is a teenager, it might be acceptable for woman to go topless! Some might as well now. In my younger days(before parenthood, and my marriage)I thought this was okay. Not so much now.
http://sydanddensdad.blogspot.com/
The simple answer is, because the teenager. There is an old saying “the primary school is boring, because you can not do everything, but you do not know anything. The college is hard, because you know everything, but you do not have time to do that. In high school you have the knowledge and time to do what you wount”. Therefore, the high school is the best times in our lives.
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