In the past 11 years of parenting, my wife and I have managed to do one thing right and if this is the only good thing we manage to do, it is perhaps one of the most important lessons we could possibly teach.
Now this is significant so get ready… It is a big Lesson in life!
In eleven years of parenting, we have managed to train both of our daughters to say THANK YOU! Whether it be after soccer practice, a day at school, a music lesson, a play date, a visit with their favourite Aunt and Uncle, dinner out with friends… Both kids will freely utter a meaningful thank you.
So important, I believe Thank You, to be. I even quit coaching youth over it. The use of Thank You had been waining over the years but after I spent an entire season coaching without hearing this simple act of gratitude pass the lips of the young adults I was coaching, I felt that it was time to pack it in.
It wasn’t until yesterday when I was picking my daughter from soccer that I actually thought about my retirement from coaching. My daughter was running off the field then stopped, turned and thanked the two young ladies who were running her soccer clinic that night. Only 6 kids out of 20 made this effort but what was even more peculiar was that the parents of the kids who did not say thank you, walked onto the pitch to thank the coaches.
I was flabbergasted! Instead of turning their kids around and telling them to say thank you themselves, they took on this responsibility for them. Not only are they paying the bill, they are stuck with showing gratitude for the time the coaches have spent with their child.
I cannot help but feel that simple acts of appreciation are a thing of the past. If we cannot teach our children to say a simple thank you to those who are deserving of some appreciation, we as a society are in trouble.
I make my kids turn around and thank their gymnastics teachers after every class (they somehow keep forgetting to do it). I’m with you on this one. It’s indeed a dying art to be grateful. And I’m guilt of saying thanks for my kids on a few occasions, but thankfully I caught myself before it got out of hand. Now, like I said, I have my kids carry that responsibility (as well they should). great topic!
.-= Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..How to Workout While Traveling =-.
You know Keith, kids forget and sometimes you don’t catch it but on the whole your kid should thank more than not. I think both your kids are a bit younger than mine so it will come and again, sometimes they forget. Even I forget on occasion but that is life.
I think it’s the parents fault, that kids are not used to say “thank you”. It’s the part of education AND also we have to take into consideration that kids are imitating their parents behavior, so if we don’t say “thank you”, why would our kids?
It’s definitely my parents fault… that I say thank all the time. I think it’s important though (at least it was for me when I was growing up) to make sure children understand why appreciation is so important. I was youngest of 9 and everyone of us was always forced to say thank for anything other parents did for us. It wasn’t something ‘weird’ or hard to do… it was just something that always had to be done like tying your shoes. It wasn’t until I was forced to do handwritten thank you’s after my high school graduation party did I really understand what true appreciation means to someone. Every adult that had influence in my life growing up came to my graduation and gave me a gift. My parents made me send a thank you note after the party to each and everyone of them. It couldn’t just be a generic thank you either, they checked and made sure I added at least 1 heartfelt point that specifically told them what they meant to me growing up (i.e. how, in specific matter, they helped me become the person I was). I was flabbergasted at what it meant to them all. I always thought they knew it… It was one of the biggest eye openers in my life to this day. Making someone feel truly appreciate was something I wish I learned a lot sooner. Up until that point I always said thank you, but it wasn’t expressed in a way that made me ensure the other person truly know appreciation. I guess what I’m saying… there is a difference from simply growing up with good manners and understanding why we are being taught them.
It’s certainly not just the youth of today with this problem! I am in my mid-20′s and I have been shocked by the wedding etiquette of my peers. Of the last 3 weddings I have attended (a mid-20′s couple, a late 20′s couple and a mid-40′s couple) the two younger couples failed to send me a thank you note for my attendance or gifts (I gave gifts worth approx $100 at each wedding). Only the older couple sent a sincere thank you note shortly after their wedding. I still get annoyed thinking about it.
I was raised to not feel entitled but rather earn things in life and to show appreciation for the things I had. I still say thank you frequently and mean it!
Thanks Darlenea for you comment,
I have been hearing more and more instances of this major wedding faux pas in recent years. All I can say, is that this “lack of manners” is in line with the “all about me generation” or what is also called the Gen – Y or Millennial generation. Society has been raising this type of self interested individual for about 20 – 25 years now and it tends to rear its unseemly head where common courtesy isn’t quite so common anymore.
Keith – I instantly love you. I just stumbled upon your blog – I am currently surrounded by blogs of all of my family and friends whose verbal vomit about their children and every “cute and adorable” thing they do (which are often temper tantrums and outright rudeness) and every new-fangled thing they purchase for them (which usually are nicer and more costly than anything I own)….and it’s making me terrified to have children. I was pondering whether it was even possible to still raise children the old fashioned way….without the aid of Baby Genius and constant worry about their emotional well-being and the psychologically damaging effects of not picking them up as soon as they whimper or scolding them for getting near a hot stove. But you are my light! Good parents still exist! I am so relieved! No children for me yet, but I hope you’re still writing this when the time comes (hopefully soon!), so I can have a comrade in a world where everyone else I know is coddling their children to such a degree that I’m worried the next census will add “spoiled brat” as another racial category. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Keep it up – your children will be wonderful people, I have no doubt!