As a father of two girls, I have to be honest. I like the idea of a world where women have the upper hand. A world where men haven’t a chance in competing with them and their opportunities are unfettered by male meddling. This is not to say that I feel that they can’t or wont be able to hold their own as it is, both are frighteningly bright and could go toe to toe with any of their male peers, I just think this is the age of the woman. Sure this this may sound a little sexist but hey, what has been good for the guys for the last handful of centuries has to be good for the gals, don’t you think!?
It wasn’t that long ago that this would have been considered complete fantasy, crazy talk and virtually impossible to achieve without a major social revolution but it turns out that this shift in gender dominance might be quietly happening right under our noses in the dark recesses of our homes.
Last March, Philip Zimbardo did a Ted Talk about The Demise of Guys where he speaks (briefly) about how addiction to digital media is turning young males into social, emotional and academic eunuchs (my worlds not his). During his talk, he provides us with some starteling statistics which have been concerning educators for a number of years now but what is most important is that he links these statistics to the consumption of digital media, ranging from gaming to internet porn. Some might say that this is a bit of a stretch linking the two but if one simply looks around, you can see real life examples all around.
Philip Zimbardo, March 2011
As a teacher, I am fortunate enough to spend my summer months schlepping around with my kids. We cover a lot of ground and see all sorts of kids in a variety of social, sporting and regular every day situations and what we see is very very sad. Even before this Ted Talk came across my desktop, I had a blog post in the works because of what I was witnessing day after day. Boys by the dozens, focused on on their digital distraction devices while waiting for swimming lessons, at the playground, with day camp groups, on road trips and in restaurants… Virtually everywhere we go, my girls and I are seeing boys focused in on some type of digital device.
In my own little community, where my kids run around and have fun all summer, there is a startling absence of boys playing out side. Even though we have a pretty even gender split in our neighborhood, on any given summer day, I would say girls out number boys 5 to 2. Girls are out interacting with others, solving social issues, getting exercise, developing physical skills and boys are held up in their basements interacting with their digital game console. It is a strange and sad state of affairs.
It is staggering how disconnected with the real world our young male population seems to be becoming and it is appearing that it is all because of a dependence on the digital media. What is perhaps even more staggering is how parents seem to be oblivious to how unhealthy digital dependence can be. If Zimbardo is correct, women will be ruling this world in very short order, all the while, the Demise of Guys continues right under our noses. Sure it is great opportunity for my girls but I am not sure having half of the worlds population incapacitated due to digital stupification is a great thing in the long run.
Although the Demise of Guys to the extent where the entire male population is reduced to blubbering bunch of worthless flesh is unlikely, I do think that there is a thread of truth to what Zimbardo has said. It is undeniable that something is happening to our boys and it could very well be the excessive exposure to digital media.
- We know that the young brain hard wires itself to that which it is exposed to the most.
- We know that watching a TV or playing Video Games shifts Brain State from Beta (active) to Alpha (passive) almost instantaneously.
- We know that digital media has serious psychological effects as the findings from the Day A Day Without Media study points out.
- We know that childhood obesity can be linked to sedentary life styles associated with excessive video game playing
What I don’t understand is the resistance of parents, media regulators and other stakeholders to even consider the possibility of this digital link in the “demise of guys”. We have nothing to lose in studying this further or heaven forbid just restricting children’s use of digital media but instead we choose to ignore the obvious. At the very least,parents need to start asking themselves, why they are allowing their children so much exposure to something that might be contributing to the Demise of Guys and turning their children into social and academic equivalent of fungi?
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I don’t think that you or Zimbardo really understand boys. They are different than girls plain and simple, besides, being good at using technology is what people will need to be in the future. If you don’t allow your girls to have access to it, you are not doing them any favours. I also think that boys are doing poorly at school because teachers simply don’t care about boys as you have demonstrated.
Andrea, Thanks for your comment.!
What we are talking about is not using technology, of course kids need to be using technology and learning how to use it in a productive and healthy manner. What we are talking about is the massive consumption of digital media via digital device, which seems to be rendering young minds ineffective socially and academically. There is a distinction between producing using technology and consuming using technology which many people (parents) have not recognized.
As for disliking boys… Well as long as they stay away from my girls, I like em just fine. It is when they come within 50 meters, when I take issue.
Hi Keith. Interesting things to consider! I have two girls as well. They don’t spend much time with computer games, but certainly have digital skills. I have encouraged practical and creative use of technology as much as possible in our home and encouraged a balance with other activities as well. They know some girls who play video games a lot too. I wonder if we need to consider our communities a bit in this. Is there something lacking for boys out in the communities that results in the gravitation to digital media/entertainment/games instead?
Thanks for your Comment Sheila. I have heard stories about girl gamers but have yet to meet one. My girls do like playing games on my ipad or touch but our Xbox does nothing but collect dust.
I am not sure if the attraction or addiction to digital media is due to our communities “lacking something” but it is undeniable that boys gravitate to digital entertainment in its many forms. All we know for sure is that, girls are learning the skills needed to succeed in the absence of digital dependence and boys are not.
To say that we need to figure out how to teach boys the skills they need without addressing their digital dependence is not going to solve this issue IMHO.
Im a 24 year old male. I feel as though boys need to let out their hostility, need to compete with each other to prove to themselves their self worth. Like George Carlin said, men have a way less important job when it comes to their end of reproduction; they need to make themselves feel important by fighting in wars and being in charge. I think video games are a safer place to one-up your fellow man.
What’s most alarming for me is the issue of fear of intimacy and a skewed view of what real sex is all about. With such easy access to hardcore porn, boys spend more time soaking in fake sexual experiences than real ones. This can cause arousa issues when a male is programmed to be turned on by acts or assets that are far less common in the real world.
[...] dog dare you to read why here: http://www.parentingoldschool.com/media/the-demise-of-guys-why-girls-rock-while-boys-mold/ . The other issue we’re seeing as a result is absent fathers, and men who won’t stand [...]