Parenting Old School

Years ago I was involved in a debate in University as part of a Geography course I was taking. The question being debated was: Should first world countries be obligated to make third world countries more westernized. Much to my chagrin I was placed on the NO side of the argument. I was idealistic back then, wanted to save the world and just naive or perhaps arrogant enough to think that the Third World needed to be like us.

Once we were assigned our sides, we divvied up the points to be made and given a week to research and plan an irrefutable argument. Being a Good time Charlie in university headed to the pub and began my research over a pint. The inevitable result was that at weeks end, I had no supporting evidence to support my point but I did have a picture of a smiling child from some South Asian country and two killer questions to pose.

The day of the debate came and when it came time for me to deliver, I stood, held up the picture and asked. Does this child laugh any less than a child in a first world country? Will all the wealth that comes with a First World existence make this child”s smile any wider? The response to these two questions was nothing short of stunned amusement and then peels of laughter rang out from virtually everyone. With that, the YES side quickly dissected my brilliant questions and then went on to destroy us in the debate.

It wasn”t until I was travelling in South East Asia several years later when I was witness to the very point I was trying to make in that classroom. That the wealth, privilege and objects which come with a First World existence does not make for happier children.

As I sat and watched the local children, I marvelled at how well the kids played together with nothing more than a stick in hand and an old motorcycle tire. Never bickering, never whining just playing laughing and enjoying the life they had. I began to notice that no matter where I went, kids were happy and parents never barked at their children. Kids were respectful and kind and appreciative of anything they did have and never begging for what they didn”t.

This pattern repeated throughout Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. The only exception was when I ventured into the large cities such as Bangkok, Singapore or Jakarta where the First  World wealth had a foothold. Here kids could be heard crying, whining and parents were barking orders and getting annoyed with their progeny. The carefree life of the children in the small villages had disappeared.

I hadn”t revisited this memory for years until I started reading the Free Range Kids, a blog by Lenore Skenazy. Lenore is an advocate of giving children a real world existence, free of the constant interference of adults. Almost immediately I began to think of the children I witnessed all those years ago. I realized that these kids were the epitome of Free Range Children. No Xbox, no hovering parents, no play dates, just kids playing and interacting with the environment in which they lived.

I only wish my kids had such a carefree life but alas, our perfect world with rules and laws which dictate how kids play and how I parent, make a Free  Range existence next to impossible if not  illegal. Gone are the days when children just play, replaced with prescribed play programs developed by experts promising an perfectly engeneered child. It just makes you wonder… What in the hell are we doing to our kids?

Free Range Children – Just Look East.