When I first came up with the idea for this blog, I tried to think of a way to present it in a manner that wouldn’t offend those parents who believe that every child has the right to rule the roost. I wanted to reach out in a kind and gentle manner so as not to hurt feelings and scare off anyone who might be able to benefit from my “Just Say No!” philosophy but then I thought “Na” so here it goes.
The “Just Say No!” Philosophy is not about depriving your children of the nicer things in life. “Just Say No!” Is not about being punitive or creating an unpleasant world for your child to grow up in and “Just Say No!” Is not a way of escaping parental obligation to provide for your children.
“Just Say No!” Is about creating a safe environment for your child to grow and discover the world as it really is.
“Just Say No!” is about showing your children that the real world is a place:
- Where most things are not negotiated and wrangled over.
- Where everything is not handed to you on a silver platter.
- Where a parents wants sometimes come before the child’s.
- Where others frequently dictate how you will live your life and how you do things.
- Where parents, peers and others are not obligated to capitulate to your every want & unbridled greed.
- Where people sometimes just have to suck it up and accept that the world does not revolve around them.
- Where parents are allowed to make decisions about their child and not have to justify their decision to a little litigator.
Now I may sound like a curmudgeon and perhaps I am but since when do children have the knowledge, experienced and maturity to run our world. Well… (((THEY DON’T))) and yet for some strange reason in a dozens of little ways far to many people allow their children to do it.
“Just Say No!” It does a child good.
You know what I don’t understand though? Is how come I have always been firm and ALWAYS follow through on my punishments etc. etc. and they STILL QUESTION ME?!? WHy? BECAUSE I SAID SO. BECAUSE I AM THE BOSS AND I GET PAID THE NONEXISTENT BIG BUCKS, that’s why, kiddo.
Sigh. Constantly trying to wear me down!
LOL! Yes they do try. I find they will persist more with my wife than with me and I think it is because the kids can get her to engage in a discussion, which sometimes gets into a “GRRRRRRRRRRRR” situation. My “NO’s” are calmer and lower key and I do not engage them any further about it. Certainly they can and do pester me on occasion and on occasion I “snap” get mad then they don’t pester me again for 6 months.
Just hold out! Be Strong and know you are in the right!
Thanks for the comment by the way!
Not quite on the Just Say No… Some Context. (Part 2) | Parenting Old School subject
I’m not saying you’re thesis is without merit but I think you will find if you look further into the studies in this area that allowing your child to make their own choices produces a much more competent and able adult. .
@ sc middle school
It’s those same studies that also acknowledge the severely reduced capacity of children (including teenagers) to think about long term consequences…just look at why car insurance rates are so high for teens vs. adults, or the excessive use of electronic media. Some instances may allow for your child to make their own decisions, but more often than not when it comes to areas where the parent knows best, “NO” has to be the definitive end to the discussion. When it’s done out of love for the well being and safety of a child it’s never wrong.