Parenting Old School is pleased to feature a guest post by Annie Fox, a celebrated author and speaker on parenting and the world of the Teen. Annie brings to her writing, a reasoned and level headed look at the realities both Parents and Teens face in the wacky world we live in. Although not necessarily “Old School” Annie has my respect for her work.
In this post Annie writes about the omnipresence of the cellphone in our schools and plays devils advocate, in favour of parents having constant contact with their kids … Well I hope this is what she is doing!
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In a rare but not unprecedented move, we sent our intrepid Time Traveler back to the late 1980s to report on the historic role of parents in their children’s education. What she uncovered may be hard for us 21st Century parents to believe, but we’ve verified her account by cross-referencing it with archival documents as well as first hand reports from today’s Elders and young adults who swear this is the way it was. Her report is excerpted here:
On weekdays during the 1980s, parents kissed their kids goodbye at the front door and sent them out into the world. The children either marched themselves to a bus stop, walked to school or rode a bike (yes they had helmets, though nowhere as cool as the ones we’ve got) From the moment they turned the corner, parents could not directly communicate with their kids.
WARNING: If you find yourself feeling anxious reading the above, we recommend putting your head between your knees and breathing in slowly through your nose and exhaling slowing through you mouth. If that doesn’t alleviate your symptoms, shut down your computer and take a warm bath, with or without bubbles.
All during morning classes, lunchtime, recess, afternoon classes and onsite after school programs, kids were incommunicado. You’re probably wondering, “What if the kid left a lunch, a book or assignment at home? How could Mom or Dad rush to school to help if they didn’t know there was a problem?” The teachers and school administrators of the ’80s had a simple answer for that one: If the kid doesn’t bring something (s)he needs to schoool, then the kid figures it out and deals with the consequences. Period.
Cruel and unusual punishment, granted, but that’s the way it was.
In case you’re shaking your head thinking, “That sounds like a lockdown!” 20th Century schools weren’t entirely lacking compassion. For example, if a kid complained of a headache, (s)he asked the teacher’s permission to go to the office where she’d plead her case to the school nurse and likely be given an opportunity to rest quietly. If the nurse felt the situation warranted it, the school placed a call home or to the parents’ office and the problem was solved. Are they for real?! Think of the precious moments lost using that antiquated system!
Today, thankfully, we can call and/or text our kids at any time, including 9-3 and we do…often! Yet, apparently, some schools are cracking down on in-class
cellphone use. They say the constant ringing and buzzing is a distraction to teachers and any students interested in receiving an education. (What kind of lame excuse is that?) In addition, schools limiting students’ cellphone access also justify it by saying the policy reduces in-class cheating and cyber-bullying. Hmm. Well, maybe we can see some logic there, but who cares?! Schools have no right to prioritize education over a parent’s access to their children. This is the 21st Century, Ms. Principal, and these are Anxious Times.
Your thoughts?
I deal with this issue daily. Kids and cell phones is a constant management issue in the classroom. It is so problematic that many of my colleagues have given up trying to keep prevent kids from using them. It takes up SO MUCH time and effort, that it can destroy a lesson if you were to tend to every infraction.
The kids have become so addicted to their technology that they cannot function with out it… So they believe.
They are astounded when I show them that my cell phone is turned off in class. “What if there is an emergency with your Family?” They ask.
My response is, “If something emergent was to happen with my family, I would want counselor or an administrator to come to the classroom and talk to me face to face so that I could deal with the situation appropriately and they could ensure that you were taken care of should I need to leave the class.”
Instant communication takes the humanity out of our daily lives. We no longer know how to deal with people, only their digital persona’s. We cannot deal with problems on our own because help is only a button push away.
My 12 year old has been asking for a cellphone because virtually all her friends have one and I simply laugh and say “NO!” She has given up on asking for now but when it comes up again in a year or so my answer will still be “NO!”
How true. Cell phones in the class can be a distraction as are i-pods. I found when I was still teaching, the admin lacked the balls to back the staff when they had issues with kids and their technology and now it has gotten totally out of control.